Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
