I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
