Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
