I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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