Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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