Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize