I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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