whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
