HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I have aggressive nipples.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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