So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
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Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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