I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
