We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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