Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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