so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
