I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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