So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize