ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I think your dad took our porno
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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