when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
