and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
True strength comes from lack of pants
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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