Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Randomize