hotel room ftw
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
My liver just had a heart attack.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
