Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
