You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
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i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
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anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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