Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
no you cant smoke seaweed
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Blood and glitter go together right?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
