I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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