Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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