If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
