I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
