I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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