Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
