I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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