I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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