Do you still have your period?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Randomize
