just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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