Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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