Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
