I love black thongs
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
