I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
