fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
