I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Randomize