the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
