Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Found the puke drawer
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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