i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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