I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
