Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
