dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
