I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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