There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
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