In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
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I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
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At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize