Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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