There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
