Don't you send me to vm
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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