she was so not down for the gang bang
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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