There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
