Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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