i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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