you're like a bully in the Christmas story
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
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I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
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you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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