no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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