I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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