HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
You left your underwear on the fireplace
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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