We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
