Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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